The Ultimate Sig-Alert

In the new movie, "Battle: Los Angeles," a soldier with a besieged group of folks is told by a superior: "Get them off the goddamn freeway." Yes, the Angelenos were suffering the ultimate nightmare--being attacked from outer space while stuck on the Santa Monica Freeway.

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Waist disposal?

David Batterson wonders if he stumbled on to some new type of diet fad on the internet.

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"Duh!" Award Winner A sample test from the Department of Motor Vehicles includes a question about some long, thin models I've never seen on a freeway.

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Unofficial economic indicators

In San Diego, Meredith Sewell found an ATM with a very tight monetary policy.

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Unclear on the concept

This video shop didn't know which end was up, which may be one of the reasons it went out of business.

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Taking his role literally

While in San Francisco I ran into a true PAN-HANDLER. (He's smiling because I gave him a dollar for letting me take his photo).

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Such a deal

I think it was wise of this company to make it clear to customers that it sells "modern" computers, not outdated ones.

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Or maybe go by dogsled

My old Times colleague Bob Pool writes: "Got an ad at home yesterday from the MTA (Metro Transit Authority) promoting ditching the car for the bus...Got a mailer hanging on my front door this a.m. from Morrie Sage's Universal City Nissan urging that I 'get off he bus and march over to us with O% financing (on select models).'"

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X-rated dish?

While in Huntington Beach I was shocked by the title of one granola product. I knew that kind of thing went on in the Valley, but in Orange County?

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I beg your pardon!

Dr. Patrick Mauer, a spell-check fancier, wasn't insulted when he received a note from a urologist telling him he was insane. Mauer figured out that it was supposed to mean that a patient's "urine" had been "sent for culture." It's a crazy world.

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miscelLAny: I don't mind that movie theaters order spectators to turn off their cell phones before the feature starts. But couldn't they also remind folks to turn their phones BACK on when the movie ends? I can never remember. And I am insane for culture.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com