Sunday, November 7, 2010

The new math: Thanksgiving Day times seven

We received a recorded phone message from my son's high school, reminding us that (because of budget cutbacks), he'd have an entire week of vacation for Thanksgiving, not the customary two days.
I can't imagine that a single kid in the school had to be reminded of this good fortune.


This political paranoia is getting out of hand

On Election Day, my wife was taking the Blue Line home from downtown L.A. when it experienced problems and was held up for more than a half hour. One rider shouted, "They're trying to keep us from voting!"


Talk about a delayed vote count!

In Las Cruces, N.M., Bruce Welmers found shocking evidence that the Democrats did not win the 2008 presidential election. (Fill in punch-line here.)


Holy Toledo

Marna Geisler saw a warning about thieves at an unlikely site in Istanbul -- a church.


Unclear on the Concept

Geisler also chanced upon an Istanbul restroom sign whose logic didn't hold much water.


The meat of the problem

Ira Newlander thought the placard-waving street person who approached him for a handout was a veteran. After Newlander's daughter gave the man a dollar, Ira asked him, "Where did you serve?"
"What do you mean where did I serve?" the chap responded. "I'm looking for something to eat. The Indian place has soup but it's three bucks and I have a dollar."
"Your sign says, 'Hungry Veteran,'" Newlander explained, "so I thought I'd ask where you served."
It was then that Newlander noticed that the sign actually said, "Hungry Vegan."


As if finding a parking place isn't tough enough...

Bob Becker of West L.A. noticed a patch of curb where apparently only animals can park.


You think you have problems

Did you hear about the El Monte man who was accused of domestic violence by his wife? When police arrived they found pieces of paper in his coat that resembled bank hold-up notes. And the suspect resembled the so-called "Golden Years Bandit" who has been active making cash withdrawals at gun point in that area. He was turned over to the FBI.

Dueling signs

I wonder if any customers of one Long Beach tutor ever demand a free SAT re-test for their children.


Football prognosticator?

In the Bay Area, Jeff Bliss saw a sign for a psychic who said she was able to delve into the "pass," present and future. (Shouldn't she have been able to foresee that her signmaker was a careless speller?)
By the way, why is that psychics are never males?


Jay Berman of Manhattan Beach received a card that was addressed to "Resident or Current Resident."

Said Berman: "That pretty well covers it."


Steve Harvey can be reached at