Sunday, March 8, 2009

The case of the guerrilla housekeepers

Tracy Hartley rushed out on an errand, leaving her front door unlocked. Some minutes later, her daughter arrived at Hartley’s house and phoned her to ask, “Who are all these people in our house?”
They were six Asian women and they were cleaning the premises.
“My daughter kept saying there was a mistake,” Hartley related, “but they (the women) kept saying, ‘Friend Sue pay us.’”
It turned out that Sue (whoever she was) had treated a friend to a surprise house-cleaning. But the women had showed up at the wrong place -- right house number but one street over.
Eventually one of the cleaning ladies called a son who spoke English and the women were off to the real address of Sue’s friend.
Meanwhile, Hartley’s 3-year-old grandson, who loves to vacuum, demanded to know why someone else was doing his job. He was assured that he had not been laid off.


***

Name game
I wrote recently of funny-sounding geographical names in Great Britain -- names such as Crapstone, Penistone and East Breast.
Carol Gwenn didn't want the United States to be cut short in this department.


“My all-time favorite is the charming hamlet of Toad Suck, Ark.," she wrote. "What WERE the city fathers thinking?”
A related question might be: “How sober were the city fathers?”
Toad Suck’s website says tradition has it that “the community was named for early inhabitants -- be they gamblers or river boatmen -- who ‘sucked up whiskey like toads.’”


***

Language!
In New Zealand, Howard Rosen found a street name that doesn’t translate very well. It’s actually the name of a local bird (but one, nevertheless, that I wouldn’t want flying directly above me).



***

Fair warning
In Germany, Susan Jagosz chanced upon a town whose name cast doubt on its status as a vacation spot.



***

I beg your pardon!

And, at a Mongolian airport, Marna Geisler saw a sign that one hopes was not directed toward the pilots.





***


Moron (cont.)

I was reminded of the Woody Allen comedy, “Love and Death,” in which a 19th century Russian town announces a village idiots convention with a marquee that says, “WELCOME IDIOTS.”


***

Good gracious
After a Channel 2 preview about the case of a murdered man, the screen was filled with this logo:
"CBS News -- Very Good News"

***

The latest bailout
Good to see that the 99 Cent Store chain is offering assistance to a needy part of the population.



***


Health fanatics need love too
Columnist David Allen of the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin saw an ad for a Valentine’s Day gift apparently directed toward the fitness set.




***

Does Fritz lip-sync the weather?
Well it seemed that way the other day when Mr. Coleman was delivering his Channel 4 report and, though his lips were moving, he was making no sounds. After about 30 seconds of the silent TV, he realized he’d forgotten to turn on his microphone.


***

Letter imperfect
Richard Seibel of Glendale sent along a newsletter that his daughter received from the Public Works Department of Corvallis, Ore., which needs to work on the spelling of the word "Public.”



***

miscelLAny
Among the burgs honored in the "20 Best Small Towns” issue of Sunset Magazine is Del Mar, Calif. The publication said the average price of a house there is $1,104,388. I don’t know why I never thought of moving to Del Mar. Heck, at a bargain price like that, I could buy a house for our older daughter, too.


***

Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com.