To live and drive in L.A.

Hey, even drive-thrus have limitations --- though you'd never guess it by looking at the boarded-up portion of an Angel Food restaurant in Long Beach. The intruder in this case was after the ATM inside --- and didn't get it, I'm told.

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Closing the barn door after the driver has bolted...
I was reminded of a years-ago photo by Benjamin Reuben of a similarly re-arranged Westside eatery.

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Someone badly in need of a sugar fix?
Then there was the 2004 shot by Donald Bentley of a La Puente landmark that had some of its chocolate knocked off by a wild motorist. Jimmy Rodriguez of Fontana says a local newspaper commented at the time that the doughnut obviously wasn’t jelly-filled.

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No calorie worries, obviously
Ron Weintraub of Randy's Donuts, by the 405 in Inglewood, gave me a photo of a chipmunk munching on one of his products. Even a chipmunk’s smart enough to know not to bury one of these tasty things.

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Water, water, nowhere
You may have read that the scoreboard of the Dallas Cowboys’ new stadium hangs so low that punters have been banging kicks off it. And the new Yankee Stadium has drawn complaints of obstructed views not to mention a wind-tunnel effect in right field that makes for cheapo home runs.
That’s the thing about new buildings. They always have a few surprises.
Ours out here are no different:
--Disneyland opened with almost no water fountains in 1955. Uncle Walt said that because of a plumbers strike he’d had to choose between constructing restrooms or drinking fountains first. He chose restrooms, he said, because "people can buy Pepsi Cola but they can’t pee in the street."
--Dodger Stadium made its debut in 1962 with just two water fountains -- one in each team dugout. But owner Walter O’Malley had plenty of beer and soft drinks available at the concession stands.
--The Pyramid, Long Beach State’s basketball arena, developed leaks early on in 1994. They were repaired. It was not -- I repeat NOT -- the Curse of the Pharaoahs.
--When the Getty Center opened in 1998, visitors complained of a shortage of both restrooms and drinking fountains. There was no shortage of bottled Getty Water on sale, though!

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Attn.: Fashion Police
In North Hollywood, Alex Auerbach snapped a photo of a store that seemed to share the same bad opinion of hangers that Faye Dunaway did as Joan Crawford in "Mommy Dearest."

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Unclear on the concept
Bill Doty of Sylmar saw a reminder that "nothing says refreshing like a nice glass of HOT milk.”

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Food for thought
In Cabo San Lucas, Dennis Levin of Larchmont spotted a restaurant that had adopted the maxim that the customer is always wrong. A maxim long ago adopted by phone companies and cable services.

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Pokin’ along…
Have you heard that commercial on the radio where a doctor offers to give you a "fingerprint of your eye?" I couldn't help but think of all the times Moe thumbed Curly's orb in "The Three Stooges." Curly had plenty of Moe’s fingerprints on his eye.

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miscelLAny
"As I was walking into Starbucks near the corner of Ventura and Laurel Canyon the other day,” writes Josh Mankiewicz, "a guy panhandled me. Nothing unusual about that --- except that to do it, he had to briefly interrupt the cell-phone conversation he was having.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com.

Carrying on about carry-on

These airport security rituals can be embarrassing. After I’d gone through the x–ray procedure at San Jose's airport the other day, a guard informed me, "You have a cylinder in your bag."
I nodded. He pulled out the cylinder and shook it. The faint sound of powder could be heard swishing around. Satisfied, the guard put it back in my bag, thus letting onlookers know that I was free to board the plane with my Metamucil.
Maybe I ought to switch to capsules.

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Law and order (cont.):
Danny Lehrer hopes that dogs driving down the street of this Hollywood neighborhood will be careful to read one warning sign.

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Ears to the ground
"In 'Oklahoma!' lyricist Oscar Hammerstein wrote, "The corn is as high as an elephant’s eye; And it looks like it’s climbin’ clear up the sky."
In Burbank, meanwhile, Marla L'Angelle points out that the corn's as low as a sewer's drain, and it looks like it's trying to climb out of the gutter.

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More food for thought:
In Manhattan, funnyman Phil Proctor noticed a magazine that might give you indigestion.

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Which reminds me
Bill Doty of Sylmar hopes that a sign at Cal State Los Angeles didn’t mean the students were becoming nauseous.

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Unclear on the concept
In announcing that ex-USC quarterback Mark Sanchez had been named an opening-day starter for the New York Jets, a Channel 9 sports guy raved the other night about what a great pre-season Sanchez was enjoying. Just one clip of Sanchez was featured. It showed him having a pass intercepted and run back for a touchdown by the other team.

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Such a deal
In Brentwood, Bart Everett saw an empty seat next to a "chair for rent" notice in the window. The latter actually referred to a barber’s station inside.

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Is that "$Paid" or "Spayed?"
"On first glance--indeed, on second and third glances," writes Gerald Jones, "this notice seems to be giving advice to people who reproduce.”

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Unoffical economic indicators
"Hard times hit the Westside," was the way Norm Sklarewitz headlined his photo of a limo for sale.

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miscelLAny
A panhandler riding the Blue Line the other night called out to the passengers in his car: "Excuse me! Excuse me! Could someone lend me $27,000 and 14 cents? I promise to pay you back.”
He settled for $2 and exited at the next stop. Maybe that’s where he had his limo parked.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com.