Wednesday, November 12, 2008

That's one way to save gas

I hate discrimination but I have to sympathize with the fast-food joint in Cypress that refused to serve a rowdy guy at the drive-through window late the other night. After all, as the crime log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise pointed out, the would-be diner was on foot.



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Thanks, but…
Lanette Baumann noticed that the Inland Valley Humane Society's website offers medical procedure for senior citizens. Not sure if my medical plan covers it.




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No euphemisms here
Some liquor stores adopt a la-di-dah attitude in their signage, with terms like "fine spirits."
Not so a store that Dick Seibel found in Glendale.



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Awkward Translations Dept.
In Tokyo, Bruce Chapman found a poop-scoop plea that seemed to be addressed to anyone, regardless of whether they owned a pet.





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They don't want to vote with their feet
Don't get the idea that everything's cushy at USC. The Daily Trojan reported that the university supplied a tram for students who wanted to vote on Election Day -- but only after the kids complained that they might be late for classes because the "polling stations are more than a mile from campus."
More than a mile! Wouldn't want to wear those poor things out.



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Speaking of ordeals...
On the other hand, it does seem to me to be asking a lot of an amoeba to have to navigate more than a block to park, as a sign outside a music shop in Hollywood instructed.




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Food for thought:
Reading Cormac McCarthy's novel "No Country for Old Men," I found something familiar about the passage in which suddenly-rich welder Llewelyn Moss has this exchange with a young runaway he's giving a lift:
"You hungry?" he asks.
"I could eat a bit," she answers.
"You want some diesel fried chicken?" he asks.
"What?"
Moss points to a sign overhead.
"I can't eat no thing like that," she says.
Anyway, I checked my files and, sure enough, about a decade ago Daniel Love sent me a photo of that sign, which he found in Van Horn, Tex. Can't remember if they showed the sign in the movie -- but then again I had my eyes covered in the theater most of the time, afraid that that villain with the murderous stun gun would show up.



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It's that time of the year for Channel 9…
Yup, L.A. Lakers season. Which means KCAL's game telecasts will be interrupted by promos for sex-oriented items on that night's news as the station strives desperately to persuade its young (and not-so-young) male viewers to stay tuned afterward. The other night, a Channel 9 anchor advertised "our nightly profile of a Laker Girl."



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miscelLAny:
During the election campaign, John Wade of Newbury Park had this recording on his telephone: "Hello. We aren't answering your call right now, because we already know who to vote for. So, please leave a message, and we'll call you right back, if you are not a politician. I'm John Wade, and I approve this message."
By the way, looking over the propositions on the ballot I found one that no phone-callers lobbied me about.


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Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com or by snail mail at Steve Harvey, 6216 E. Pacific Coast Highway, #235, Long Beach, CA 90803.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

A pointed reminder

I guess even we 60-and-over folks become nervous about inoculations. How else do you explain a sign at a clinic for seniors in Culver City? The sign listed the steps that needed to be taken in order to receive a flu shot, the last of which was: "Pick up medicine." I got in line feeling relieved -- I'd just carry the medicine home, no pain. Uh uh, I didn't "pick up" anything. I got poked with a needle.




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Dueling signs…
Abbye Brenner spotted a couple of competing businesses in La Crescenta and wondered in what order one would patronize them.



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A commentary on study habits?
A friend of Mrs. Only observed a curious piece of graffiti on a building at UCLA.




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More from Westwood…
Perry Jaster of West Hills noticed a rather philosophical alarm panel in another campus building. Audible silence? If an elevator falls in the woods, does anyone hear it?




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Don't know much about geography
Meanwhile, across town, a USC website encountered a problem spelling the name of a city in Arizona. Or is it in Italy?




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Which reminds me
My daughter Sarah noticed a restrictive parking sign in Tuscon, excuse me, Tucson, and wondered how a driver would prove she was in a family way. Pull out a sonogram?




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Related item
In the Cook Islands, Mike Montgomery chanced upon a government billboard that reminds drivers leaving home to prepare for everything, and I mean everything.




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Sticks and stones…
Teacher Valerie Anne Bishop says the younger kids at San Rafael Elementary School in Pasadena sometimes mix up the two teachers whose names start with "B" (Bishop and Bemiller) and the principal (whose last name is Beecher). Bishop's first name, Val, adds to the confusion.
"The other day," she related, "I said good morning to an early arriving second-grader and his response was 'Good morning, Mrs. Vulture.'"


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How the neighbors talk
I don't know why San Diegans love to take pot shots at L.A. Is it jealousy? San Diego Magazine carried a letter from Ocean Beach resident Christina Guthrie who complained about a previous cover featuring a "James Bond lookalike and his angry girlfriend" (see below) and speculated that they "came from Los Angeles central casting." Not a very inviting pair.
"Surely," she added, "there are some pretty, happy, exciting San Diegans who'd be willing to pose for the cover … We're so much more warm and friendly."
I tell you, I attended a Dodger game in San Diego a while back, and the fans snarling at the Dodgers weren't so warm and friendly.




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miscelLAny: Mr.Gorbachev -- tear down this wall as well! La Habra is in Orange County while neighboring La Habra Heights is in L.A. County.



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Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com or by snail mail at Steve Harvey, 6216 E. Pacific Coast Highway, #235, Long Beach, CA 90803.