Paper or plastic? Boy or girl?

Barbara Joan Grubman of Woodland Hills saw a sign in a Ralphs market that said: "Pregnancy tests can now be gotten at the check-out stand." Wonders Grubman: "Hmm, would that be the checker or the box person who would be giving them?"

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Dept. of What's Going On?
First, there were all those water mains bursting in L.A. More recently, Channel 2's local news broadcast a segment that showed Department of Water and Power workers visiting strip clubs during working hours and drinking beer while driving in DWP trucks. Who's in charge of that agency, anyway? Reminds me of a sign that Phil Proctor saw at one DWP facility.

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Too good to pass up?
Memorial Day weekend is coming up. I wonder if the Oregon business spotted by Dick Seibel last December will renew its not-so-tempting holiday offer.

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Food for thought
Phil Proctor also found a joint where you can get an unusual main dish with a side of hashed browns.

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And chew on this
I might hesitate before driving a Toyota product. But Ken Bensinger found something even more daunting in Little Tokyo -- a dish that tastes like a Toyota.

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Lexus chicken (cont.):
The owner told L.A. Weekly he used that phrase because Lexus is a prestige brand. What he should have said is: "Once you start eating this, you can't put the brakes on your appetite!"

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Still playing chicken
Bart Boydston told the sad story of the feathered creatures who arrive at one business: "They park. They go inside. They don't come out."

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Hard to swallow
As for the "lamp" curry menu item mentioned in my last column, Perry Valantine of Costa Mesa theorizes it's a diet dish ("Indian food light").

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Proof that Spring is in the air:
Dr. Patrick Mauer noticed that a bulletin at Good Samaritan Hospital takes a romantic view of an on-line resource available to the staff.

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On the shy side...
A Long Beach restaurant advertises a very proper rib dinner.

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How the McCourts raise money for their divorce attorneys
Overheard from a fan at Dodger Stadium, who had just noticed that one foreign beer at the concession stand costs $13.50: "For that price, you should get a lap dance, too."

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miscelLAny: Louis Quatorze (XIV) is associated with a furniture style. But I never knew what Louis III was famous for until I saw the sign below.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com.