Could Garfield handle this meal?

After all the eating I did over the holidays I hardly dare think about food. Nevertheless, I was struck by the cat food ad spotted by Jenifer Morgan. “Asia Fusion” grub for a feline is unusual enough but notice the chopsticks in the photo. Can’t imagine my cat wielding them. Eating them maybe, but not wielding them.

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Chew on this one
Then, on a trip to Little Tokyo, I chanced upon some chicken that reputedly tastes like Lexus. I’ve heard people speak fondly of the new-car smell, but never the new-car taste.

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More food for thought
A friend of mine nominated the accompanying as most unusual food bulletin of 2008.

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Christmas leftovers
Rick Mitchell passed along a photo of a Texas store that he imagines has unique gift baskets.

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Leftovers, Part II
Gerald Jones was shocked over one gross telephone being sold by Disney, of all people.

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Speaking of phone lines…
Ex-newsman Cliff Dektar was at a funeral where everyone was asked to turn off their cell phones. But was it just mourners the warning was intended for? I was reminded of the urban folk tale concerning pre-World War II evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson, who was said to have been buried with a live landline in her casket.

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For the careless driver who has everything
I guess you can get gift certificates from almost any business these days.

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Now for a guy with real car problems
Steve Propes’ column in Long Beach’s Beachcomber newspaper carried this police log item:
“Third St. and Junipero Ave.: No doubt to add fiber to his diet, a male was observed removing random license plate stickers and putting them in his mouth at about 8:15 a.m.”
Can you imagine being pulled over for a missing plate sticker and telling the officer, “Honest, my next door neighbor ate it”?

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A “holiday” item
Right, I didn’t say “Christmas” because disbelievers were obviously the target for this ad about “atheistically” pleasing rooms.

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And, finally, 2008’s Sig-alert of the Year:
In West Hollywood, Phil Proctor found what appeared to be the last stop of one gift-giver.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com or by snail mail at Steve Harvey, 6216 E. Pacific Coast Highway, #235, Long Beach, CA 90803.

A business that doesn't know whether it's coming or going

Not sure if it's a reminder of how uncertain the economic climate is but Bob Reiter found a Pasadena store that's taking no chances, holding simultaneous "Closing" and "Grand Opening" sales.

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Your Dream Shack

Speaking of economic indicators, Wendy Hornsby of Long Beach spotted this bedraggled offering by none other than American Dream Realty in Monterey County.

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And for That Dream Shack...

Craig Walker chanced upon a Westside business whose spelling might floor you. "It's a discount store," Walker said. "I wonder if they got a discount on the sign?"

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Flying Conditions Are Getting Miserable:

"Here's a photo from my last airplane trip, which was completely filled," wrote Susan Jagosz of Huntington Beach. "I think this is where they put you if you don't have a proper seat assignment."

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The Third Time Was Not a Charm

A KFWB anchor uttered the word "executer" instead of "executor" three times in a story about a legal matter -- blurting out "you know what I mean" after the third booboo.

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Meanwhile, Back on the Ground...

It looks as though a Santa Monica bus line is daring passengers to come aboard.

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Polly Want a Ladder?

Once again crime is getting out of control in Laguna Beach. Officers were dispatched to a residence after a caller's parrot flew into a neighbor's tree, reported the police log of the Laguna News-Post. The owner said she "needed to get the parrot down but the neighbors refused to let her on their property . . . (The) parrot was captured before they arrived."

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Tired of Having Elevator Doors Slam on You?

Well, in Panorama City, John Welch of North Hollywood was relieved to come upon a sign in a hospital that said: PATIENT ELEVATOR.

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Man, Those Westsiders Sure Know How to Live!

In a West L.A. supermarket, I heard a man in my aisle say into his cellphone, "OK, we'll go to Dubai then."

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miscelLAny:

Long-time newspaper photographer Loran Smith of Pacific Palisades snapped the marquee of a Santa Monica church that assured followers that casual dress goes back to Biblical times. You can imagine what good news this was in Santa Monica.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com or by snail mail at Steve Harvey, 6216 E. Pacific Coast Highway, #235, Long Beach, CA 90803.